oh hey girl hey!

I feel 100000000000000000000000 x better than my last post. Its amazing how much a balanced diet affects your mood and your overall energy.

The post before had to do with the fact I had pretty much been eating empty calories as my meals and not getting any nutritional stuff. My body felt like crap which consequently gave me headaches and fatigue and then that led to my internal negative tape just going on repeat.

Now that I've had a whole week of nutritious food.... FRUITS!!! other yummy stuff I feel like a whole other person!

Anyway, so in group the other day, I was called out on so much of my perfectionistic OCD tendencies. Ugh!!! I don't know what they are talking about!!!! Plus they keep reminding me about how critical I am of myself and how I'm always putting myself down.

One of the girls broke down crying because she is just being bombarded by thoughts so much so that they don't let her sleep! I wanted so badly to fix her and I got up to give her a tissue and then my therapist Gina told me to sit down and that she needs to get through this for her to get better... I was like say what?! It was just a tissue.....

I talked to Gina after and she said had I been one of the other girls that already addressed savior mentality issues, she wouldn't have stopped me but she is forcing me to sit with the anxiety of seeing someone suffer. Her point, I'm assuming, is to get me to realize that its ok to just let someone cry and that I don't always have to fix everyone.

That was really difficult and I didn't realize it was that big of a deal but now I'm seeing how much lending myself out to others is wearing me out. But how do I take care of me without feeling selfish?

Any thoughts?