therapy

well today i had my second session with my therapist regarding STRICTLY my denial issues of my previous relationship. Its a cryfrest the entire time. I am almost convinced I will never get over *him* and more and more I am learning that I think I don't want to get over him. Weird, I know. But eventually I am going to have to make that choice of letting go and moving on....

Anyway, eating issues started up a little today. Nothing severe but a feeling of "losing control" around food when I am at home alone. I splurged a little, and I'm sure it has to do with my session earlier today. It was mostly sweets, I feel I needed some consoling. But that was the wrong way of going about it. Even though my "binge" was dwarfed in comparison to the way I was at my worst, I still recognized that it was not healthy. Instead I thought and addressed my feelings and journaled a bit. I also spent some time with my puppies who always know how to get me out of my head.

I have decided that I have been in recovery long enough to begin working on my body again. I had been afraid of exercise and monitoring my diet for fear that I might take it to the extreme, but after being educated in eating/exercising mindfully, I think I'm ready to incorporate a more than sensible diet and exercise regime. Summer bootcamp here I come!

I am looking forward to the good feeling that comes with exercise (endorphins and etc.) but the second I start obsessing about looks and appearance, I will slow it down. I Promise!

anyway, til next time. Stay strong, we'll get through this!